Why Do People Gotta Hate?

Last evening while I was entertaining myself with Pinterest and a can of Pringles (I know, shame on me) I came across a Pin that linked to an article on a gal’s blog. This particular article discussed 4 ways that she saves at the grocery store, similar to my post from yesterday.

When I finished reading her article (with basically the same suggestions as mine) I noticed she had 44 comments and I wanted to check out what her readers suggested for additional savings. Perhaps I’d learn something new?

My heart fell when I came across a post from another woman totally trashing the blog’s “common sense” suggestions, then ending the post with “You’re An Idiot!”.

I’m noticing more and more of this negativity and treating people badly. On blogs, on Pinterest, in life. I can’t help but wonder what happened to that rule “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all” or “Treat others as you’d like to be treated”.

If you don’t like what you’re reading (or seeing on Pinterest, or encountering in life) simply move on. Why is it necessary to seek to ruin the day of another?

I realize more and more that misery really does love company. Sad, but true.

I couldn’t be more impressed with the response from Lydia (the blogger), who came back with a very tactful response simply apologizing that the reader didn’t find value in her post, and wishing the reader luck with their continued smart shopping sense (or something to that effect).

I might have let emotion get in the way and asked the reader to “Shut The Front Door”.

So…anyway…I want to give a shout out to Lydia and her blog (which, by the way, appears is no longer an independent blog on blogspot but runs on the Parents.com webpage – Congrats!). Check her out, applaud her, and love her the way I do for not sending a nastygram back to this inconsiderate reader!!

You can find her here: The Thrifty Frugal Mom

And today, if possible, see if you can shine a ray of sunshine into the life of another. Maybe a complete stranger. It’s no more difficult than making eye contact, smiling and saying hello.

I’ll do my part by sharing this ray of sunshine with you:

I took this picture on my way to work one morning, during a particularly difficult period in my life when all I wanted to do was just pull the covers back over my head and sleep the day away. It’s beautiful. I find it peaceful and full of hope…that even in the darkest of times, there’s light.

Shine On-


8 responses to “Why Do People Gotta Hate?

  • amy

    Ya know, Hil, I wasn’t going to respond to this but I have been pondering a similar point lately and it seems that when we feel inadequate ourselves for whatever reason, “daddy issues,” loss of a loved one (death, seperation, moving, divorce), disappointment, misunderstanding, a lie we have believed, a desire to be something we were not created to be, or a number of other things, we often focus on that (whether we intend to or not) and try to over compensate by tearing others down. I have found that if I find a fault in you (physically, mentally, emotionally) it some how makes me feel like I am not alone and even feel better about me because my “thing” isn’t THAT bad. Some times just walking away or saying nothing is not enough, sometimes we need to say a blessing for the one that we want to tear down….and look in the mirror and see why that “thing” is bringing up such an emotion in us.
    Just a thought.

    • simplyeclecticlife

      I like the points you make and completely agree with you about the need to say a blessing for another.
      I have bad days too. There are things and people that annoy me. But I also don’t go out looking for a fight, attempt to start drama, or to tear down another. That’s what I mean when I say ‘move on’.
      Negativity spreads like wildfire. People need to find the appropriate time, place, and audience for unleashing their emotion. And, as you’ve pointed out, a good look in the mirror is almost definitely in order.

  • Marian Tomberlin

    I’m an older or maybe even old woman.I’ve lived long years and was born into a far more civil time. Our parents, grandparents and teachers taught us to ‘mind our manners’ and the society reinforced it. Do unto others and you would have them do unto you’ pounded into their thick skulls. I was once told that my generation is simply dishonest. I pondered that a long while and came to the conclusion that if holding my tongue and not saying every wicked thing that ran through my puny brain is dishonest then I’ll be that. In the case of Lydia and your excellent column I find it impossible that anyone could find any fault. My husband and I both commented after reading yours what a sensible, resourceful and interesting young woman you are. I’m not one to leave that many comments. I tend to wonder why anyone I don’t know cares what I think. Maybe I’ll rethink that. It’s easy to be a boob or bully when you tap keys and leave rude and even hurtful messages anonymously. Maybe it’s time for we who appreciate and even admire the fine work you and those like you put into your thoughtful and insightful blogs to post our thoughts. Maybe we can help to drown out the ugly responses by, as Amy posted above, those feeling generally inadequate, or the sad, ignorant,ugly or just plain mean spirited. When I read your column I immediately thought about all the people suffering today in this bad economy and how you may have given them some tools to make their journey a little easier. I thought about the wisdom of minding our food budgets regardless of our circumstances.Thank you to all the Hilarys and Lydias who take their time to share with us and teach us what they’ve learned from their experiences. Bravo Lydia for showing restraint. Bravo Hilary for shining a light on this issue. You are teachers and I can’t think of a lesson we’re more in need of during these ‘enlightened’ times than to do unto others. Now I will step down off my soapbox before I fall off.:)

    • simplyeclecticlife

      Thank you, Marian. I too was on my soapbox this morning when I wrote the post. I had an entirely different post in mind, until last evening.
      As if life isn’t difficult enough without those who get kicks from hurting others!

  • abeautifuljourney01

    I completely appreciate this post, and I agree. I think it’s hard as an adult to realize the importance of not only surrounding ourselves with positive energy, but reflecting it back, even when we don’t feel it. I can appreciate ‘saying a blessing or a prayer’ when we find ourselves having a negative reaction to someone else, but I really think the point is more about choosing to not spread that negativity by ‘walking away.’ I know, personally, there is one person in my life who consistently spreads their negativity into my life, and often times I take it home and carry it like its my burden to bare. I think choosing to keep our mouths closed and not spread negativity whether from our own heart, or another’s is a daily challenge, but a righteous one. 🙂

    • simplyeclecticlife

      I too have a person in my life who seems to need a filter…both in their interactions directly with me and in the interactions with others where they involve me though I’m not present. I often ask myself why this person gets to play any role in my life, and I’ve determined I’m just not in a place to vote them off the island (yet).
      That said, I have made a decision that their ugliness will not be mirrored in me. I know this person is miserable in their life for a variety of reasons and taking shots at me (to my face or behind my back) is a way for them to feel better about themselves. So…for the time being I simply pull the knife (repeatedly) out of my back, apply a bandage, and move on knowing that it really isn’t about me at all…I’ve just been their target.
      I hope that one day we will all choose to surround ourselves with people who only love, respect, and make us feel good about yourselves. Life is just too short!

  • Lydia (Thrifty, Frugal Mom)

    Oh my…so many things going through my head as I read this! First of all, thank you for your kind words and encouragement! It was refreshing and such a blessing.

    I’ve been pondering too why people feel like they can say anything they think and why they have to be so hateful. I have a post formulated in my mind regarding all my thoughts on the subject but since my blog is a “money saving” blog I felt like I probably shouldn’t post it. But maybe I should! 🙂

    At any rate, it is hard to know how to respond when people are so unkind and negative. I’ll admit that part of me feels hurt and angry at them and yet another part of me feels sorry for them that they have not learned to be more mature and that they have not learned to deal with whatever is making them so hateful and nasty. As a Christian, my goal is to show love and grace…but yes, it is hard!

    Thanks again for your kindness…made my day! And now…I’m off to check out more of your blog!

    • simplyeclecticlife

      I can see how a “Get over yourself and being so nasty to others” post wouldn’t gel well with your “money saving” blog. I hope that my post will suffice for you in lieu of being able to do it yourself.

      I am so impressed with you and your blog as well as your ability to handle negativity. It was my honor to give you a shout out on my blog!

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